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Conversations with Caitlyn | Vol. 3

passport study abroad

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I haven’t done one of these posts in a couple months, and they are still some of my absolute favorites so I wanted to take time to write another one. Plus, I’ve been feeling a little burnt out lately and wanted to produce something more personal. Which is also why I didn’t do a post about all the books I read in November (I actually only read one anyway) or my favorites for last month.

Let’s get into these life updates man:

Study Abroad Prep

OMG y’all we are so close. Like in literally less than 50 days I will be in Scotland! I can’t believe this. This whole process is moving so fast. I love that because I need to get away from NKU and Kentucky for awhile, and just because um duh it’s Scotland.

This process moving so fast is also stressing me out though, too. I have my accommodation offer and all I have to do is pay my prepayment but I’m having issues getting the payment to go through. Fingers crossed I get it figured out before the payment is due on Thursday.

I also still have to buy my plane ticket, but I literally just figured out what day I’m allowed to arrive so I’m not really procrastinating.

Lastly, I still don’t know what classes I’m taking over there! I submitted what I wanted to take (which I later found out I probably will only get credit for one or two of them. Ugh life of a STEM major), and they still haven’t confirmed anything. The woman in my study abroad office told me that I may not even know what I’m taking until I get there in January. Cool bro.

In the meantime, I’ve been stalking researching the area surrounding Glasgow Caledonian University on Snap Map to view all the public stories people post there.  That way I can fit in when I get there. (Is that weird?)

easy cinnamon sugar doughnuts beginning bakers | College with Caitlyn

Poetry

I’ve been really really into poetry as of late. Mostly because I bought both of Rupi Kaur’s books while I was in San Francisco two months ago, but also because I’ve been writing some, too. It’s so cathartic! My sister is also probably literally one of my absolute favorite poets. She may or may hate me for this but I’m going to include a couple of my favorites below.

 

No artist thinks their work is perfect, yet you think their work is. 
No person thinks they are perfect, yet someone thinks you are.

 

How could that make it any better when at the end of the day you still left me 
– when he says “it wasn’t you, it was me”

 

I’ve also been sharing some of my favorite poems from The Sun and her Flowers and Milk & honey, as well as from Amanda Lovelace’s the princess saves herself in this one, on my Instagram story.

If you know any more poets like these two women please let a girl know!

So many photo shoots

Over the last couple months, my camera has gotten a lot of good use! I took my cousin and her friend’s second round of senior pictures, my baby cousin’s photos for his second birthday, and I also took my sister out for some fun fall photos.

My life is a Hallmark movie?

If you follow me on Twitter than you are probably already caught up on all my boy drama, but just in case I’d thought I’d lay it out here for you, too.

So, back on October 28th, I realized that a boy I had the BIGGEST crush on in high school somehow followed me on Instagram without me knowing and had started liking all of my pictures. Basically, high school me was screaming, but not college me because here’s the catch: he lives on the other side of the country where I went to high school.

Then, that same night he sent me a DM but when I responded he never sent me anything back.

Three weeks later he texts me and he totally admits to having a secret crush on me for the last five years. (My tweet said six but I did that math wrong). Which all of you guys on Twitter went crazy for and told me you want to come to the wedding.

This guy and I have literally been basically talking non-stop since then and I feel like I’m in high school again. It’s so crazy because stuff like this doesn’t happen in real life! Like this is so totally the plot of a Hallmark movie guys.

The plot thickens even further because we talked about maybe (??) giving us a chance when I move back to the PNW after I graduate from college in two years. Until then, you can still catch me tweeting about all the other cute guys in my life.

Feeling Lonely

This is something I’ve been feeling for a very long time and wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about it on here, but I love when other bloggers get really real so here we are. Basically, I’ve been struggling with extreme loneliness the last couple years at college.

It’s really hard for me to connect with people, and not just because I’m an introvert. I find it really hard to relate to anyone my age because I don’t like to party, I don’t like to go out every night, and I want to do more than talk about all the drama in people’s life. Then when I do connect with someone, I find that a lot of times they care more about me just being another friend in their circle than actually being my friend. Is it really too much to ask for someone who actually goes out of their way to make me feel included?

pumpkin patch outfit caitlyn stone

I get so tired of people playing on their phones while I talk to them, or not keeping up the conversation with me, or completely bashing all my thoughts and opinions that I’ve basically given up on making new friends in college. And it sucks because I only have three here now and I literally never see any of them because we’re all so busy with school and work and all our other responsibilities. On top of that, my other three best friends in the entire world all live in different states.

Related: Five Ways to Stay Close to Friends at Different Schools

Another thing I noticed, is that sometimes I go days without having any real human interaction. My roommate and I are on completely opposite schedules so most of the time when we’re both home she’s asleep. I don’t really talk to anyone in any of my classes, and there are only three people who I work with that actually talk to me like they care about me, and not just want to make the time move faster by keeping me in conversation. On top of that, I noticed over Thanksgiving that I hadn’t had anyone hug me or just like pat me on the back or hand or something of that nature in ages, which is why I was super overwhelmed during my family’s holiday.

Essentially, all my interaction is done on my phone or computer and it’s just not the same. I really want to get an emotional support pet (I just want a cat so badly), but I’m about to go to Scotland anyway so there’d be no point. My grandma wants to get me one when I get back in the summer so we’ll see.

If you have any tips on how to deal with loneliness please leave them in the comments for me!

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  • I can’t wait to read more about your adventures to Scotland! I’m going to Edinburgh in two weeks and I’m so excited. If you have any questions about studying abroad in the UK, feel free to contact me! Also, I totally understand how you feel about the loneliness part. I’m a big introvert and am not that fond of human interaction in general (unless it’s with people I know and am comfortable with). Just like you, I find it hard to connect with people my age because I don’t like to party and I just have really different interests than most people. I’m also super shy, so that doesn’t help. I’ve been in college for three years, and I still have the same two BFFs I met in cegep (pre-university thing in Quebec) and haven’t really made any other friends. I thought studying abroad would help me get out of my shell and meet new people, and while it did, I’m still super shy and hate big social situations. So don’t worry, you’re not alone! (Sorry this comment is extra-long, haha)

    • 1) no worries about the long comment. I love those!!
      2) I will totally be reaching out to you for advice soon! Thank you for offering your help
      3) It makes me so much better that I’m not the only one you kind of struggles with being lonely. Thank you sharing that with me!!

      xo
      Caitlyn

  • Ooo a study abroad in Scotland! That sounds like it’s going to be so much fun! I heard Scotland is beautiful and people are lovely there. Also, that’s so exciting that your high school crush reached out to you. I hope to see one of those couple twitter posts captioned “it started with a DM…” haha! Maybe this new connection will help ease some of the loneliness you’ve been feeling. College can be quite isolating when you can’t find your groove. I hope things get better!

    Lots of love, Lola

    • I’ve heard so much about how beautiful it is, too! I actually know quite a few people who have gone there so they’re giving me all the tips which is great. And if that happens I will totally be joking about how we rekindled for the rest of my life. And thank you so so much for you kind words, Lola. They really mean a lot ❤️

      xo
      Caitlyn

  • I am so jealous you are studying abroad! When I was in Spain, I loved it – it actually inspired me to start blogging! Cant wait to see more from you about your trip!

    http://www.repressingthecrazy.com

    • Ohh Spain sounds wonderful! But I made sure to choose a country where they speak English. I took four years of Spanish, but actually speaking it gives me anxiety!

      xo
      Caitlyn

  • ALL OF YOUR STUDY ABROAD PREP IS SO EXCITING! I’m counting down the days until next semester too. On the loneliness topic, I’ve definitely been there before. I’m not necessarily an introvert, but I have a hard time building connections with people deeper than surface level. It might be a little late for this, but I threw myself into a bunch of on-campus organizations in the hopes that I would meet more people, and taking on a Journalism minor has helped me a lot in talking to people since I have to conduct so many interviews. In the end though, you’re not alone – everybody feels that way! I hope you pull through your funk soon :-)

    • I actually joined the hiking club this year so I could do that, but I can never make the hikes because I work! I reached out to them though and they say they would try to make them at more reasonable times for students who work. I went one one already and it was amazing. Hopefully I can go on more with them before I leave! Thank you so much for commenting, Kat.

      xo
      Caitlyn

  • I’m so excited for you to go to Glasgow! I was supposed to study abroad there last spring but couldn’t because I wasn’t in the right place mentally. I will be living vicariously through you! Loneliness is hard but I promise you’re going to make great friends abroad! Joining a lot of activities at school helped me a lot with feeling lonely. Also ESAs are amazing! I have my rabbits at school and they are the best. If you have any questions about registering animals let me know!

    Lauren // http://laurensjourney.com

    • OMG no that’s so sad. I will totally be extra vivacious over there just for you!! I hope one day you do get to visit Glasgow. And girl your rabbits are so cute. I love seeing them all over your Insta. Thank you for offering to help with the ESAs, too! I may have to take you up on that.

      xo
      Caitlyn