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Conversations with Caitlyn | Vol. 3

passport study abroad

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I haven’t done one of these posts in a couple months, and they are still some of my absolute favorites so I wanted to take time to write another one. Plus, I’ve been feeling a little burnt out lately and wanted to produce something more personal. Which is also why I didn’t do a post about all the books I read in November (I actually only read one anyway) or my favorites for last month.

Let’s get into these life updates man:

Study Abroad Prep

OMG y’all we are so close. Like in literally less than 50 days I will be in Scotland! I can’t believe this. This whole process is moving so fast. I love that because I need to get away from NKU and Kentucky for awhile, and just because um duh it’s Scotland.

This process moving so fast is also stressing me out though, too. I have my accommodation offer and all I have to do is pay my prepayment but I’m having issues getting the payment to go through. Fingers crossed I get it figured out before the payment is due on Thursday.

I also still have to buy my plane ticket, but I literally just figured out what day I’m allowed to arrive so I’m not really procrastinating.

Lastly, I still don’t know what classes I’m taking over there! I submitted what I wanted to take (which I later found out I probably will only get credit for one or two of them. Ugh life of a STEM major), and they still haven’t confirmed anything. The woman in my study abroad office told me that I may not even know what I’m taking until I get there in January. Cool bro.

In the meantime, I’ve been stalking researching the area surrounding Glasgow Caledonian University on Snap Map to view all the public stories people post there.  That way I can fit in when I get there. (Is that weird?)

easy cinnamon sugar doughnuts beginning bakers | College with Caitlyn

Poetry

I’ve been really really into poetry as of late. Mostly because I bought both of Rupi Kaur’s books while I was in San Francisco two months ago, but also because I’ve been writing some, too. It’s so cathartic! My sister is also probably literally one of my absolute favorite poets. She may or may hate me for this but I’m going to include a couple of my favorites below.

 

No artist thinks their work is perfect, yet you think their work is. 
No person thinks they are perfect, yet someone thinks you are.

 

How could that make it any better when at the end of the day you still left me 
– when he says “it wasn’t you, it was me”

 

I’ve also been sharing some of my favorite poems from The Sun and her Flowers and Milk & honey, as well as from Amanda Lovelace’s the princess saves herself in this one, on my Instagram story.

If you know any more poets like these two women please let a girl know!

So many photo shoots

Over the last couple months, my camera has gotten a lot of good use! I took my cousin and her friend’s second round of senior pictures, my baby cousin’s photos for his second birthday, and I also took my sister out for some fun fall photos.

My life is a Hallmark movie?

If you follow me on Twitter than you are probably already caught up on all my boy drama, but just in case I’d thought I’d lay it out here for you, too.

So, back on October 28th, I realized that a boy I had the BIGGEST crush on in high school somehow followed me on Instagram without me knowing and had started liking all of my pictures. Basically, high school me was screaming, but not college me because here’s the catch: he lives on the other side of the country where I went to high school.

Then, that same night he sent me a DM but when I responded he never sent me anything back.

Three weeks later he texts me and he totally admits to having a secret crush on me for the last five years. (My tweet said six but I did that math wrong). Which all of you guys on Twitter went crazy for and told me you want to come to the wedding.

This guy and I have literally been basically talking non-stop since then and I feel like I’m in high school again. It’s so crazy because stuff like this doesn’t happen in real life! Like this is so totally the plot of a Hallmark movie guys.

The plot thickens even further because we talked about maybe (??) giving us a chance when I move back to the PNW after I graduate from college in two years. Until then, you can still catch me tweeting about all the other cute guys in my life.

Feeling Lonely

This is something I’ve been feeling for a very long time and wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about it on here, but I love when other bloggers get really real so here we are. Basically, I’ve been struggling with extreme loneliness the last couple years at college.

It’s really hard for me to connect with people, and not just because I’m an introvert. I find it really hard to relate to anyone my age because I don’t like to party, I don’t like to go out every night, and I want to do more than talk about all the drama in people’s life. Then when I do connect with someone, I find that a lot of times they care more about me just being another friend in their circle than actually being my friend. Is it really too much to ask for someone who actually goes out of their way to make me feel included?

pumpkin patch outfit caitlyn stone

I get so tired of people playing on their phones while I talk to them, or not keeping up the conversation with me, or completely bashing all my thoughts and opinions that I’ve basically given up on making new friends in college. And it sucks because I only have three here now and I literally never see any of them because we’re all so busy with school and work and all our other responsibilities. On top of that, my other three best friends in the entire world all live in different states.

Related: Five Ways to Stay Close to Friends at Different Schools

Another thing I noticed, is that sometimes I go days without having any real human interaction. My roommate and I are on completely opposite schedules so most of the time when we’re both home she’s asleep. I don’t really talk to anyone in any of my classes, and there are only three people who I work with that actually talk to me like they care about me, and not just want to make the time move faster by keeping me in conversation. On top of that, I noticed over Thanksgiving that I hadn’t had anyone hug me or just like pat me on the back or hand or something of that nature in ages, which is why I was super overwhelmed during my family’s holiday.

Essentially, all my interaction is done on my phone or computer and it’s just not the same. I really want to get an emotional support pet (I just want a cat so badly), but I’m about to go to Scotland anyway so there’d be no point. My grandma wants to get me one when I get back in the summer so we’ll see.

If you have any tips on how to deal with loneliness please leave them in the comments for me!

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